The Number One Way You Can Protect Your Relationship from an Affair

Posted by on Jul 31, 2019 in Couples Counseling | Comments Off on The Number One Way You Can Protect Your Relationship from an Affair

Sometimes people are in a committed relationship with their partner, and that partner also happens to be good friends with a coworker or their neighbor. On the surface, everything seems okay. Perhaps they eat together during breaks or are on the same neighborhood co-op board. 

Yet, for their partners, there is still some concern. They may be worried that their partner is drifting away from them towards this other person in their life. Sometimes, they worry that there may even be a physical or sexual attachment to that relationship too. If you are finding yourself in this kind of situation, then you need to pay attention to this and know what to do to protect your relationship

Why Affairs Happen

People have affairs for all kinds of reasons, such as for sex or getting back at the other partner. They may feel rejected and lonely. Whatever the reason, the common theme is that their emotional needs are not being met in their original relationships. When couples find themselves in this situation, the stage is set for someone else to meet those emotional needs, and not their partners. Affairs often develop out of friendship relationships with other people.

Of course, just because your partner has a close relationship with someone else doesn’t mean that relationship will turn into an affair. However, someone who has experienced emotional distancing in their romantic relationship, then finds a connection with someone else, could find themselves drawn into an affair.

Creating Strong Emotional Connections

The main thing people can do to safeguard and protect their relationship from an affair is to strengthen the emotional connections that they have with their partner. They need to involve each other as much as possible in as many aspects of their lives. By doing so, couples can better establish themselves, not just as individuals with their own identities, but also as part of a team. For example, they can:

  • Create friendships with each other’s friend groups
  • Attend programs at their kids’ school
  • Share each other’s hobbies and interests
  • Take trips together
  • Have shared experiences

When creating a greater connection with one another, couples need to also be present and engaged with one another. Even if one partner is not interested in the things that the other partner enjoys, they should still be involved. This helps to show solidarity with the other partner and demonstrate that they are invested in strengthening the relationship.

Talking To Each Other

Last, but not least, it’s critical for partners to talk to each other. Most especially, they should discuss what is going on in each other’s lives. These can include:

  • Work
  • Recreational activities
  • Children
  • Family members
  • Thoughts on their future together

When having these discussions, partners need to be both physically present and mentally engaged with one another. Physically present means actually being their face-to-face with your partner to have the conversation. Whereas, being mentally present requires turning off your cell phone or TV so that you are not distracted. Of course, if one partner is interrogating the other or being a helicopter partner, that won’t help with strengthening the relationship either. This requires having a balanced mindset where both of you are working together.

Strengthening the emotional connections between one another and communicating can help to protect your relationship from an affair. However, this is not something that can only occur once or twice. Rather, it takes a lot of time and effort to build meaningful connections with each other.

Yet it is possible. The key thing for couples to remember is to be both present and engaged with each other. If forging a connection is still difficult for you and your partner, consider getting help by participating in couples counseling. Contact me soon for help.

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