How—And How Not—To Stand Up For Yourself

Posted by on Sep 14, 2012 in Uncategorized | Comments Off on How—And How Not—To Stand Up For Yourself

Although moderate assertiveness between passivity and aggression—standing up for yourself—is conventionally regarded as positive and even essential, some instances of assertiveness can come to be perceived by others around you as being self-righteously defensive, writes Dr. Leon Seltzer. Attempts to make your needs and desires known assertively can fail when imbued with resolute righteousness. Believing that your perspective is the sole “right” one can invoke a double standard in which other people’s viewpoints are not honored as valid, leading to a dismissive and invalidating attitude seen as overly defensive. This can be avoided through mindful assertiveness which takes into account others’ thoughts and feelings, and focuses on clarifying your perspective in a non-self-righteous manner.

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