Healthy Separation and/or Divorce Counseling

What Good is Counseling if We’ve Already Separated or Divorced?

divorce-counseling-wichita-fallsJust because you are separated or divorced doesn’t mean that you don’t need support.

Are you struggling with the fallout caused by one of these events? Perhaps you are feeling emotionally exhausted and drained. Sometimes moving on with your life after a separation or divorce is extremely difficult. You may even agonize over whether it is even the right option for you. You may be worried about your children. Perhaps co-parenting with your former partner is more difficult than you had anticipated? Do you and your ex get into arguments and power struggles over the children? Are either of you attempting to alienate the children from the other?

These Are Common Reactions to Divorce. You May:

  • Struggle to accept that your relationship has ended
  • Feel angry, betrayed, or resentful because your partner was the one who wanted out
  • Feel guilty for your decision, and you feel bad for the hurt you have caused
  • Struggle to redefine your sense of self now that you are on your own
  • Feel lonely but lack confidence in your ability to make good relationship choices
  • Feel afraid to risk loving again for fear of another “failed” relationship

If You Feel Any of These Things, Don’t Give Up

I am Dr. Kelly Guthrie, and I am a relationship expert with many of experience in divorce counseling. I have been practicing in the Wichita Falls area for 10 years. I help individuals and couples at all stages of the separation/divorce process minimize the negative effects of this transition and promote healthy healing and recovery.

You Are Not Alone

Many people who are separating or divorcing feel that it is one of the most emotionally challenging, difficult, and complicated things they have ever experienced. Separation/divorce touches every area of your life and has far-reaching impacts on all family members. While lawyers help their clients deal with the legal aspects of divorce and/or separation, they are often unprepared to address the emotional aspects of grieving, co-parenting, and rebuilding one’s life.

Things Usually Get Much Better

The good news is that it is absolutely possible for you to recover from a separation and/or divorce. With my help, you can:

  • Explore whether separation and/or divorce are right for you
  • Develop a collaborative rather than an adversarial relationship with your former partner
  • Learn coping skills to facilitate healthy adjustment
  • Heal past hurts and resentments
  • Increase your self-confidence and re-define your personal identity
  • Learn how to prevent past relationship problems from repeating themselves in the future

One of us wants to work on saving the relationship but the other one does not. Do we need marriage counseling or divorce counseling?

This is a very common question. The overall goal of marriage counseling is to help couples repair and strengthen their relationship. Unless both people sincerely desire to attempt this work, the marriage counseling will not be productive and the couple is likely to emerge angrier than they were when they began the work. Divorce counseling is recommended When one or both members of the couple are irretrievably committed to ending the relationship. Its purpose is to end the marriage peacefully.

Can I come to separation/divorce counseling by myself or will my former partner need to come with me?

Separation/divorce counseling can either be done individually or with you and your former partner together. Whether you should come alone or together will depend on your personal preferences (and possibly those of the other person), as well as the purpose of the separation/divorce counseling. Getting support for yourself, even if your partner won’t come, is a smart thing to do. Please feel free to call or email me if you would like to talk more specifically about which option might be best for you.

My separation/divorce is already final. Can I still benefit from this kind of counseling?

Many people realize that counseling can play an extremely useful role in helping them decide if they should separate and/or divorce but are unaware of just how helpful it can be once this decision has already been made. Separation/divorce recovery is often a lengthy and stressful process, even for those who desired the split. It is not unusual for people to feel overwhelmed by the changes that often follow in the wake of a separation/divorce, such as grieving the loss of the relationship, becoming a single parent, learning how to co-parent with your former partner, relocating to a new home or geographic area, managing the financial strain created by the loss of a second income, redefining shared relationships, recovering your self-esteem, and dealing with the challenges of dating and/or remarriage. Separation/divorce counseling can help you cope effectively with these kinds of changes and discover ways to successfully rebuild your life.

There are a lot of therapists in town, why should we choose you?

This is a great question! There are several things that set me apart from other therapists.

  • My approach to therapy involves focusing on the core issues that need to be addressed and teaching people the skills they need to break the negative cycles that have caused damage in the past.
  • My clients tell me that they feel like I understand what they are experiencing and describe me as warm, empathic, open and non-judgmental.
  • I provide a safe and accepting environment for discussing and processing relationship issues regardless of sexual, gender, cultural or spiritual orientation.
  • I offer a 20-minute consultation at no charge so you can see how you feel and whether you think we are a good match for one another. If you do not feel like we are a good fit for any reason, I will gladly refer you to another therapist who might be a better match for you so you can get the help you are seeking.

Bottom Line:

  • Anger can eat you up. Don’t let it.
  • Guilt that lingers too long can become very destructive. You need to shift it.
  • Disorientation after a separation or divorce is normal… for a while. But you’ll need to find your ground.
  • Loneliness is normal, too. But moving beyond that is important.
  • Shutting down and hiding away forever isn’t the answer, either.

I can help you get back on your feet again for your benefit, and for your kids.

I invite you to contact me if you have any questions or would like more information about how I might help you.