Haven’t Dated in a While? Here’s What You Need to Know to Catch Up

Posted by on Jan 30, 2020 in Couples Counseling For One | Comments Off on Haven’t Dated in a While? Here’s What You Need to Know to Catch Up

Starting to date again after the end of a long-term relationship can seem daunting. For those who haven’t dated in a while, things have changed and it’s time to play catch-up. Here are five important tips to consider when starting to date again.

Heterosexual and Same-Sex Couples Meet Differently

Interestingly, the ways that heterosexual couples vs. same-sex couples meet varies greatly. Here are a few statistics to ponder. For heterosexual couples:

  • 30% meet from encounters in their daily lives (work, school, etc.)
  • Less than 30% meet through mutual friends
  • A little more than 20% meet at bars or restaurants
  • 20% meet online

Meanwhile, for same-sex couples:

  • 70% meet online
  • 20% meet at bars or restaurants
  • 10% meet their partners through friends or coworkers

That’s a huge difference in how heterosexual and homosexual couples meet! Therefore, it’s important to consider how your sexual orientation might influence how you go about meeting someone.

Many Couples Find Each Other Through Other People

There are many partners who find one another through their relationships with other people. For instance:

  • 30% of couples meet through mutual friends
  • 20% meet because they were coworkers

The thing to keep in mind when you haven’t dated in a while is to utilize your social network. But also, be aware that 43% of people meet partners through self-introductions. This means if your friend invites you to a party and you see someone that interests you, start a conversation! If you are shy or struggle with self-esteem issues, you might need some additional help with breaking the ice.

Couples Who Meet in Their Daily Lives Are More Satisfied

Another interesting point is that couples who meet one another from their daily lives are often more satisfied with their relationships. This is as compared to those who meet one another in other ways. The message here for those who haven’t dated in a while is simple:  get involved!  Go to lunch with coworkers, or join in on drinks after work. Participate in recreational activities, such as playing in a sports league, attending a class, going to church, etc.

The idea is that people who meet from activities in their daily lives have more shared interests and social connections than those who meet on-line or via a blind date, and these common bonds can lead to a deeper, more satisfying connection.

Not Everyone’s Looking for a Committed Relationship

Some people are just looking for sex when getting back into dating. If that’s what you’re looking for, focus on places where you can meet people who might have similar interests, such as clubs. The nightlife scene will also offer more opportunities for flirting and casual touching as well.

What to Do When You Have Specific Dating Preferences

When you have specific dating preferences or needs, your best bet is looking for dates via online dating websites. For instance, online dating is helpful for those who are geographically or culturally isolated, and options are limited. The search tools allow you to find potential partners with the qualities you are looking for. Another idea is to talk to your friends; They will know your preferences and also share common interests. They can guide you towards people who also share your values and have characteristics that you find important.

Finally, if you haven’t dated in a while, fear not. Getting back into dating doesn’t have to be intimidating or overwhelming. It does help to keep in mind that the dating landscape has changed; however, if you are having trouble with trying to date again, consider asking for help from a therapist.

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