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Resentment: The Number One Relationship Killer

Posted by on Apr 15, 2017 in Couples Counseling | Comments Off on Resentment: The Number One Relationship Killer

Dealing with the persistent feeling you are being treated unfairly by someone you love. Resentment in relationships stems from the sense that you aren’t receiving the time, help, consideration, appreciation, admiration, reward or “whatever” that you feel you’re due. Often, people have valid reasons for being resentful. Generally speaking, it’s an inevitable part of being in a relationship. Perhaps your partner isn’t as affectionate or loving as she once was. Or maybe he promises to clean out the garage but never gets around to...

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How a Deck of Cards Can Stop Fights about Money

Posted by on Mar 31, 2017 in Couples Counseling | Comments Off on How a Deck of Cards Can Stop Fights about Money

Using Money Habitudes to improve financial communication For lots of couples, pooling financial resources and sharing financial goals is a significant part of their relationship. Of course, not all couples pool their money. However, even a couple maintaining separate finances usually still have to at least talk about money matters. The following financial talking points are fairly common: Couples have to discuss who’s going to pay what. You have to consider how your expenses align. Agreements regarding monetary goals like material...

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What to Do When Your Partner Will Not Stand Up to His Parents

Posted by on Mar 15, 2017 in Couples Counseling For One | Comments Off on What to Do When Your Partner Will Not Stand Up to His Parents

In her research at the University of Cambridge, noted writer and psychologist Terri Apter found that 3 out of 4 couples have problems with their in-laws. Over 60 percent of women and 15 percent of men report having a negative relationship with their significant other’s mother. Far and away, the most common challenges occur between a daughter and her mother-in-law. There are many reasons this is the case. But, generally, there are three primary reasons for problems in this relationship: control, criticism, and conflict. Most women in this...

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So, Your Partner is Gaslighting You…What now?

Posted by on Feb 28, 2017 in Couples Counseling For One | Comments Off on So, Your Partner is Gaslighting You…What now?

It takes a lot of effort to deal with a gaslighting relationship. You’ll likely need quite a bit of help and support. People who are gaslit often feel very isolated and helpless to change their situation. Certainly, each person’s experience is different. Your experience may vary greatly from someone else’s. However, you should know that it is possible to lead a full, healthy life with better relationships. Basically, there are three key steps to take to empower yourself in a gaslighting relationship: Step 1: Get a Reality Check To change a...

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Is Your Partner Gaslighting You?

Posted by on Feb 15, 2017 in Couples Counseling For One | Comments Off on Is Your Partner Gaslighting You?

The term gaslighting comes from Gaslight, an American 1944 thriller about a husband who slowly manipulates his wife into believing she is insane. He continually dims the gas-fueled lights in their home, then pretends it isn’t happening when she questions it. Essentially, gaslighting occurs when one person systematically manipulates another person into doubting his or her own sanity or reality. Gaslighting is usually based on blatant lies or on an exaggeration of the truth. While some gaslighters are definitely attempting to manipulate or do...

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How Sexual Abuse May Be Complicating Your Sexuality: Part II

Posted by on Jan 31, 2017 in Couples Counseling | Comments Off on How Sexual Abuse May Be Complicating Your Sexuality: Part II

(It should be understood that the term “sexual abuse”, for the purposes of this post, includes more than just childhood sexual abuse and refers to any unwanted sexual experiences, regardless of age.)  In the first part of this post, we looked at ways sexual abuse impacts sexuality. The amount of physical, emotional or mental health problems can be numerous and require professional attention. Let’s continue to look at how sexual abuse can impact the victim as laid out in The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by...

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How Sexual Abuse May Be Complicating Your Sexuality

Posted by on Jan 15, 2017 in Uncategorized | Comments Off on How Sexual Abuse May Be Complicating Your Sexuality

(It should be understood that the term “sexual abuse,” for the purposes of this post, includes more than just childhood sexual abuse and refers to any unwanted sexual experiences, regardless of age.) It’s well known that sexual abuse can have a profound impact on people who’ve experienced it. It is associated with a number of physical health problems as well as emotional or mental health challenges. And recently, especially in the last decade or two, there has been considerable interest in exploring the effects of sexual abuse on sexuality...

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Dating Again? 6 Mistakes to Avoid When You Get Back Out There

Posted by on Dec 30, 2016 in Couples Counseling | Comments Off on Dating Again? 6 Mistakes to Avoid When You Get Back Out There

Whether you’re ready to start dating again after a breakup, divorce, or a long dating hiatus, here are a few things to avoid to ensure you date well: 1. Not being your authentic self When we start a new relationship, most of us are motivated to put our best foot forward. We work hard at making a good impression. There are a variety of ways we might do this: Pretend interest in certain topics or activities. Play relationship games, ie. pretending to be less interested in a dating partner than we are. Avoid asking for what we need to...

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Is it Okay to Snoop on Your Partner?

Posted by on Dec 15, 2016 in Couples Counseling | Comments Off on Is it Okay to Snoop on Your Partner?

Things to think about before becoming a relationship spy Have you ever wonder if it is alright to spy or “snoop” on your partner or spouse? First, what exactly constitutes snooping or spying? sno͞op/ verb gerund or present participle: snooping To look into your partner’s activities without their permission. Today’s technology offers any number of opportunities for partners to snoop on one another. This may involve reading emails or text messages. Or you might look at one another’s call histories, log into each other’s social...

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Can You Trust Your Partner After an Affair?

Posted by on Nov 30, 2016 in Couples Counseling | Comments Off on Can You Trust Your Partner After an Affair?

If your partner had an affair, they were not deserving of your trust in the past. They had an affair despite knowing that, at some point, you would suffer as a result. At best, your partner hid their actions. At worst, they outright lied about it. But now you know. And you and your partner have both decided to work on your marriage. So the question is: how you can ever trust your partner again? Most people in this position really do want to trust their unfaithful partners. They’re just not sure how. After all, you trusted before, only to be...

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