5 Common Myths People Believe About Dating

Posted by on Aug 15, 2015 in Couples Counseling For One | Comments Off on 5 Common Myths People Believe About Dating

Could it be that with seven billion people on the planet, there is still just one right mate for each of us? Probably not.

But still, we buy into this and other relationship myths, and they make it really hard to find a satisfying, happy relationship.

We come by these ideas from loved ones or popular media.

We believe them. Although they really aren’t grounded in reality.

Five Common Dating Myths:

1. Everyone has one special someone.

This is the belief that there is one “right” person for you, when in actuality there are many potential partners you could form a meaningful long-term relationship with.

That one person could be the source of your eternal happiness is a lot of pressure. Worse, many of us believe that without this special someone, we’ll be doomed to a life of loneliness, dissatisfaction and isolation.

The truth is there is definitely a pool of legitimate and worthwhile mates available to you, even if it doesn’t feel that way now. A successful relationship depends much less on who you’re with, than the way you interact daily with each other.

So, the task isn’t really to ask “is this the one,” but to determine whether the person is someone you can build a meaningful relationship with.

2. Love will happen when you stop looking for it.

You can’t expect to just sit back and wait for the right person to come along.

Generally, doing nothing leads to nothing.

Relationships happen when you become an active participant in your own life. Realistically, the odds of love falling into your lap aren’t good. That approach implies you don’t have control.

You do have control. You control when, where, and how you meet and evaluate potential partners.

3. When you reach a certain age, lower your dating expectations.

Women, especially, are told that aging alone shrinks the available pool of partners.

That it’s best to just take what you can get and be grateful.

People aren’t cars. Our value doesn’t depreciate over time.

And our standards for ourselves shouldn’t either.

Respect, trust, kindness, fidelity: Those are basic relationships rights at any age.

There is no reason to sacrifice them.

4. I just haven’t met the right person yet.

How do you know? Maybe that person is on the radar, but you can’t see them clearly. How closely are you paying attention?

Perhaps your standards or preferences are out of reach or unrealistic.

It may be you’re focused in one direction, but your best relationship fit is in the opposite direction. Consider someone you may have dismissed because that initial physical attraction isn’t immediate.

Sometimes, it’s easy to develop tunnel vision that really just gets in the way. You may be looking for a specific type, or opportunity, and missing potential chances to connect that could be good for you, in ways you yet don’t realize.

5. I will know instinctively when I meet “the one.”

Reality isn’t a romance novel or romantic comedy. Signs won’t appear to tell you this person is the one for you. Believing that the heavens will open, angels will sing, or your heart will go pitter-patter when you meet, is a recipe for disappointment.

This probably isn’t how you handle other important life choices.

Just waiting to “know” your partner instinctively will probably cause you to miss out on other valuable opportunities and relationships.

Basically, these dating myths will likely set you up for a difficult time.

A relationship can’t live up to these kinds of expectations.

Unfortunately, people who live their life by them often end up disappointed and dissatisfied  because their ideals aren’t based on anything realistic.

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